3 steps to make friends with your warring parts

Read this part first: 1. If your name happens to be used in the post below to name a not-so-good character, do not please let that trouble you. I love everyone of these names and I love my friends who are wonderful bearers of these names. This is not specific to any person known or unknown to me. 2. Wherever you see “(fill in your name)” picture yourself in that context and read it as though the part is speaking of you. 

When your internal warring parts are going BAKBAKBAKBAK without allowing for your loving center to wedge in, that’s when you’d hear “a  part of me doesn’t do even the things I know I want to do” – this is where we had paused.

Today, I’ll share 3 most effective steps to take towards getting your parts to become friends with you again.

But first come in and see if you recognize some of your parts –
Well, hey there sweetie! My name PriyaSugar. I’m  (fill your name)’s favorite, most used part. Know why? I say the sweetest things, darling. I love being loved and my expertise is in saying yes, saying sorry no matter what, keeping people happy, and making sure that  (fill your name) is in everybody’s good books. I’ve taught her that life is lovely when she’s smiling 24 x 7. I’m the reason, she eats whatever friends offer her! My fav friend here is PyariSamajhdaari.
Hi, I am LakshmiMoney – I’m (fill your name)’s part who will speak when it feels like she gets way too bindaas about money. My interest and specialty is her financial well-being. I sound kinda nasty – that’s why she often tunes me out – but am very smart and good at heart. When she ignores me, I’ve learned to poke my neighbor to yell on my behalf, lol! I was the one that protected her from buying stupid things and lending money recklessly.
I’m LakshmiMoney’s neighbor, Gussa. She’s the only one besides PyariSamajhdaari, that I get along with – rest are all effing losers! You must know this – I am the most active part around here – ‘cos am always hissing and cussing!! I like systems and I like things going well. And when they don’t, I call her names! I get close to her ear and say mean things all the time – all with a hope that she may ask me why! But (fill your name) has NOT ONCE figured out that, that’s all I ask of her.
Hi, am PayalGhaayal. Thanks to PriyaSugar and few others here, I am the most injured, most hurt, most teary-eyed, sad part here. Gussa protects me, she doesn’t like it when I cry. And when  PyariSamajhdaari is on duty she lovingly cares for me. I dunno why, but (fill your name) has elected PriyaSugar and ShellyBully to boss over us all! PriyaSugar is toxic, Bully is mean.
My dear (fill your name), a big hug to you before we go any further. As you may have realized, your parts want you to listen to them more. They like *you* giving them attention more than them getting attention from each other. They want and like to be led by you. And, there are many more parts, I just interviewed with only a few of them here.
Whenever you sense that one of your parts are not listening, it means that you need to listen to them first. Therefore #1 step for you to take is, to say – “hmm .. tell me more!” So, learn to get curious with yourself and your parts everyday – don’t let them go bonkers at all. And your parts feel very heard when you write down whatever you hear them saying.
The #2 step you’ve got to take is this – make PyariSamajhdaari the boss of all parts. She’s clearly the best representation of you and every part looks up to her and likes her. And after all, she is Pyari and Samajhdaari all at once, isn’t it! She doesn’t make anybody wrong for how they are, she’s accepting of each one of them exactly for how they are. And that is a huge asset.
#3rd step is very big my friend – you must treat PyariSamajhdaari with a great reverence. Like if you think of yourself as the leading lady of your magnum opus – she’s your director. Hers must be the voice that you act upon. Not PriyaSugar’s, not Gussa’s and not PayalGhaayal’s. You must not put any of these parts in the decision making position in your internal office – after all they report to Pyari and it’s insulting if you ignored her!
Now may I say something, (fill your name)? Insights without action are NO good!  Please go and get yourself a notebook and pencil. Switch off every any possible distraction, and speak with your parts. And like a good girl, take down notes as they speak to you.
Love,
g

 

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