“Money is the root of all evil!”
“Men don’t find slender women attractive!”
“True love comes only to a lucky few!”
“Only women with zero ambition choose to stay home!”
“Coaching is for lazy people who can’t figure things out on their own!”
“Who the hell goes to a class to learn how to eat? Or how to breathe?!”
There! I’ve shared half a dozen examples of useless beliefs. And I’ve so many more that are tumbling out from my memory. These are genuine examples of limiting and unhelpful beliefs that I’ve seen people carry – like they’re legit. They felt like it was only a dimwit who’d question it.
When does a belief become useless, you may be wondering.
Any unexamined assumption, especially those that stand in the way of what you want for yourself, is likely an unnecessary belief. If you’re someone that desires to accumulate some money, with a theory such as ‘money is the root of all evil’ you will not be able to hold on to any money for a long enough time – whether you’ve slogged for it or it was generously given to you. So, the belief is a useless one for you to carry, as it is blocking the very thing you desire to have.
Women do the eye roll and give me duh kind of response when I say this. I know I’ve done the same thing with my mentors! But these beliefs aren’t evident unless you look for them. You’ll get a hint of their being active if only you tune in to the things you speak and the words you use. And of course, the results you currently have are a dead giveaway.
Think of it, for instance, if you ardently believed that there’s no point trying to lose weight. Why? Because you’re going to be chubby anyway since everybody in the family is a plus size too – why would your intelligent brain let you waste your precious time and energy over learning to shed it?? The towering belief that ‘I am just like others in my family’ will lead you to implicitly be and do everything the way your family has always done – cook a certain way, eat in a particular manner, and so on. And sadly, you’d have failed at something without even trying.
I’ll leave you with what Dr.Bruce Lipton has said on this topic.“Human beings have a great capacity for sticking to false beliefs with great passion and tenacity. People need to realize that their thoughts are more primary than their genes, because the environment, which is influenced by our thoughts* controls the genes.”
I have a very tough ask for you. Ask yourself what thoughts are you stubbornly holding on to and get curious about them. Just tease yourself and ask ‘what if this isn’t true’ and come up with a contrasting argument for your original argument. Since you’re doing it in the absolute privacy of your mind (or a journal, utmost), you don’t have to worry about losing face – it’s going to be safe. Oh, why, it may even save you a ton of pain, who knows!
* A belief is only a thought that you think often.