Now and then, it so happens, that I will be reading a book when some words, some guidance, some insights just leap out of the page! And ask to be internalized. Like, that voice inside is SO clear about this instruction.
And I wonder, why is it saying this now? Am I going to need this ?? And in what context??? The questions just pour out from inside! Over the years, I’ve learned to stay calm.
And then, in just a couple of days, the situation will present when the message contained in those words is like a perfect fit. And I’ll hear a faint voice that says – this is why.
Someone in a session asked – “it’s v hard when people don’t like me .. why don’t I go with whatever they say? And then I can do what I want when I’m by myself.”
Here’s what the book fairies had me read –
“who doesn’t prefer being liked to being disliked? The problem is where this desire stands in the hierarchy of your values. Does it stand at the peak, above integrity and self-esteem? The issue is not whether you want to be liked, but what you are willing to give in exchange. The more you surrender to the fear of someone’s disapproval, the more you will lose face in your own eyes, and the more desperate you become for someone’s approval. Within you is a void that should have been filled by self-esteem. When you fill it with the approval of others instead, the void grows deeper, and the hunger for acceptance and approval grows stronger. The only solution is to summon the courage to honor your own judgment, frightening though that might be in the beginning.”
Some insights need to be read, re-read … and above all else, need to be applied time and time again. I can sincerely say I’ve practiced it for a long time .. and continue to do so with this particular one, my reader friend. I hope you, too, will reflect on this gem of wisdom. Just sit with it and see what comes of it for you.
And let’s both send a heartfelt thanks to dear Dr.Branden, who has articulated this truth so eloquently.