One of the most challenging things is pausing. When it comes to matters about food, pausing feels near impossible. This is because we all feel an extreme sense of anxiety, even just thinking of it. And even when the pause is only a matter of seconds, somehow, the conditioning is such that state of not DO-ing or just BE-ing brings feelings of guilt and inadequate-ness upon us.
But the invitation to pause comes with an irresistible promise. See what Victor Frankl says about it – “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.”
This kind of seals the deal, right? We must learn to pause. And this means you must learn to observe the anxiety that shows up when you stop any DO-ing.
What then is the wisdom in observing?
In learning to observe, you develop a subject-object relationship to that which you are observing.
What does this mean?
Let’s say you get an urge to eat a piece of chocolate. And very wisely, you pause. Now, you’re observing feelings of sadness come up within you. This makes you the observer, a subject. And the feeling of sadness is what you’re seeing – which is the object.
This is the first step to distance yourself from the feeling. Because really, you are not your feelings or your thoughts. You have the power over what you think, which gives you control over what you feel.
Reflect upon this for a moment.
Now, when you go a step further and tweak your language,
you’d NO LONGER SAY – ‘I am sad.’
instead, you WOULD SAY – ‘I am thinking sad thoughts’
Dr. Joe Dispenza says, “Ninety-five percent of who you are by the time you’re 35 years old is a set of memorized behaviors, skills, emotional reactions, beliefs, perceptions, and attitudes that functions like a subconscious computer program.”
This leads us to conclude how important it is to develop observation as a skill. Because it is the act of observing that will help you become aware and articulate precisely what your thoughts and your feelings are. And if they are appropriate to each other.